Highs and Lows

So, I'm glad it's Friday. The majority of my week has been spent on testing, paperwork, or recess duties. It's been a busy week. Not a bad one, just busy. I'm ready for a couple days off. And, I am caught up on paperwork in a way, so I'm not taking much work home. I need a break, I think.

So, I wanted to post a high and a low from today. It was a good day though, so it wasn't as if it was an awful day. But, it had two moments that I want to share.

I will start with my low point of the day. I was testing one of my students one-on-one, and he was doing okay. Not great, not poorly, just okay. I was ecstatic though by the amount of effort he was putting forth on the test. He was feeling okay, moving along, and then he got stuck.

I was giving the math part of the test, so I could read the quesitons to him. There was a question that he didn't know two of the terms on the question, and it stumped him. I wish I could've taped when followed. He wanted me to tell him the definations of the words. Well, I can't. That would invalidate the whole thing. When I told him I couldn't (He knew already anyway, but it was worth asking.) he said, "Well, do you know what they mean?" I told him I did, but I still couldn't tell him. He said he felt sick. I really thought he was going to throw up. He put his head down on the table and stated he wanted to go to the nurse. I told him we needed to put something down for the question. He asked if we could come back to that one, and I said yes. After we finished the rest we went back to the question, and I read it to him about 8 times and then we sat in silence. Then I read it one more time and he said, "wait, did you say..." And I said yes. He sat up, and answered the question. He got it wrong, but it was 25 minutes from start to finish on that one question. I wish I could've taped it for the government officials who have this idea of No Child Left Behind. In the end, he went back to class and wound up going to the nurse. I had told his teacher what had happened. I really, really wish people knew what pressure these kids are under, not to mention the teachers. Seriously... It was so hard to sit there and not help him. My job is to help, but this is the one part of the year that is hard for me. Herumph...

On the upside, I walked Lostboy to his daycare bus. I had spent a decent amount of time with him today between swinging him and his other sensory needs. I didn't get anything deep, except a hug here and there. So, at the end of the day, I was walking him up to the bus and we were making small talk, and we got outside and I said, "Is your van here?" And he said, "Yes." And he started running to the van. It occurred to me when he got away from me that I didn't tell him I love him. I yelled, "I love you!" and as he was running away, not looking at me, he yelled, "I Love you too!"

That's the first time he's said that to me!

I know, it's not going to stop his lying, stealing, or other things I don't know about. For that matter, he may have just said what you typically say when someone says "I Love you."

But, I'll be honest, I want to think it meant something.

One of the things we heard last Sunday in church is that we're not to give up on hope.

So many have given up hope on something good for this kid.

And I don't want to be one of them.

I may get hurt and ripped into shreds, but I am not going to give up.

And "I love you" is going to stay with me forever.

Later!