Last night I was scrolling through my facebook feed and saw a post that made me stop. One of my former staffers at Camp Barnabas had posted about one of the campers I had in my cabin last Spring. Ms. Emma was in my cabin and was a miniature version of me in so many ways that I had to smile when I watched her interact with the others in my cabin. She had a special place in my heart after just one weekend. Camp kinda does that to you, you walk in expecting to bless the campers and instead they bless you. It happens every single time.
I remember watching her that weekend and was in awe of all the talents God had given her. The theme was March Madness, and the girl could play ball! Her basketball skills were legit and she could sing the Star Spangled Banner in such an amazing way. I remember thinking several times, that there wasn't a thing at camp that she couldn't do. She made me smile over and over again. *grin*
I had missed training because I arrived late, so I didn't know at the time that she struggled with Mental Illness. The staffers I had obviously knew, and at one point, she got upset but they did a phenomenal job of taking her to a private place for her to work it out. Therefore, I didn't see it out at camp. Looking back that was a gift.
See, out at Camp I am a Cabin Mom, but the staffers are in charge. I kinda like that, as I'm there to SERVE them, not be in charge. So when the staffers asked me to stay with the cabin while a few of them went to help with Emma, I didn't think twice. I knew they were trying to preserve her from embarrassment and I was grateful for that. I never want a camper embarrassed, especially when it is something they can't control. My staffers were amazing, and I was so blessed by the entire cabin that weekend.
The majority of the weekend I observed Emma from afar because I helped with the campers who required a significant amount of support. Emma had one moment, but other than that she was like everyone else with a limp. Yes, a mini-me.
Parent Pick-Up morning came and the staffers told me to stay on the porch with the campers while the cabin was cleaned before parents arrived. That's normal for me and I love it because I get to soak up the remaining minutes with the campers. Emma didn't really talk to me until that morning. I'll never forget what she did that morning.
She took time to tell each person on the porch how much she cared for them. I remember laughing because it wasn't until that morning that she discovered I am "Mama Shannon". She said something like, "You're THE Mama Shannon? I didn't know!" I'd just spent the weekend with her, but, it was just fine. She was so busy in all the activities she didn't really interact with me until that moment.
When she got to me to tell me what she thought of me, she said something about how much she admired me, and how we were kinda twins because of the way we walk. She wound up sitting down by me and taking my phone out of my hand. That's not uncommon because I have my music library on my phone. She showed me how she is on social media and she sings/raps to the songs with the phone capturing her facial expressions. She did a miniature lip sync for me. I LOVED IT. She admitted that her musical preferences aren't Camp Barnabas appropriate. I laughed because she wasn't afraid to show who she was and be like, "This is me, take me or leave me." I had no idea what personal battle was going on in her mind.
I got home and friended her on FB and Instagram. I loved watching her musical videos. I'll admit, I sometimes had to turn down the volume because I just can't handle cussing in songs. *grin* I never judged her for her music choices, as that was her deal. I recognized early on that she was a young lady in the midst of figuring out who she was and who she was made to be. Her page was very open about her mental illness, and there were times I would check in on her, and I saw she was in a battle. I would often pray for her, as I couldn't wrap my head around what that would be like. I also saw her post one Friday night when she had posted an attempt to end her life. I was in deep prayer for her, and reached out to her family. I offered to take her in, but she didn't take me up on it. I was fine with that, I just prayed. I knew that was the best thing I could do.
So last night when I saw a post about her leaving us this side of Heaven, my heart dropped into my stomach. On one hand it broke my heart because she had SO MUCH TO OFFER this side of Heaven. On the other hand, I had watched her have so many highs and lows in the past couple weeks that I sensed her battle and now she's not in that battle anymore.
For those of you that are my Camp Barnabas Family, please know I'm in prayer for all of us. This is our third loss in less than a year. At the same time, I think about what an amazing place Heaven will be with all these amazing people in it. I'm also thankful that Emma is no longer in a battle with her own mind. For that, I am thankful.
If you're reading this and want to help, her Dad, Chris has a link on his facebook page to donate to a charity dear to Emma's heart. They don't ask for flowers or cards, simply a donation to Inclusion Connections. I'm posting the link address here, and just noticed that Emma is on the homepage in a pic with several people. *grin* That seems perfect to me.
ickc.org
Emma, you'll never know how much I adored you and enjoyed watching you grow up in the past year. You made me smile a lot, and challenged me to be more than I am just by you living out life this side of Heaven. I also went to JCCC, and I was so proud of you that you did that. You'll be greatly missed out at camp and here at home. I can only imagine the party in Heaven with you in it. See ya on the other side, beautiful one. It is with love that I say you will be missed daily. Love, Mama Shannon
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment