If I Had One Wish

I have been in some DEEP thought lately. I have several post ideas in my head, so we will see where this lands. What you don't know is that I think all the time. I mean ALL the time. Sometimes I blog and save it, and don't even hit the "publish" button. Life is so fast that I want to have my words matter. So I blog (honestly) more for me than for you. I sit here at age 46 and wonder where the time went. The answer is one day at a time. So, there's one thing I haven't really shared via my blog that I want to share today. The beginning of a school year is a great time to ponder what I'm about to post. *grin* I'm not in a classroom full time anymore, but, it seems to be the time of year I think the most about having CP equals more questions from kids.

What I've learned about kids over my 20 years of working with them, is that they don't seem to care that I have CP once I explain. I have a whole speech ready for when a child looks at me and says, "What's wrong with your leg?" Kids are simply honest, without filters, and they want the same in return. In schools it's easy to answer and move along. Sometimes it means means seeing kids out with their family's and hearing the question and the parents aren't sure what to do. This was actually what made the book "Wonder" by RJ Polaccio come about. Parents get embarrassed when the question is asked and they don't want me to feel weird so they typically say something like, "I don't know, but don't stare because that's rude." I get it. Totally. But what if we change the script?

If I had one wish in my world, it would be that parents don't reply in fear or embarrassment but rather they said, "I don't know, let's ask." Or if they said, "I'm not sure, but she's just like you and me except she walks a little different." Or even, "Let's smile, she's doing the best she can."

I wholeheartedly believe that the parents simply don't know what to do in that moment. So they do nothing. I want to empower the parents to be okay with seeing people different from them and teach their kids the same. It's okay to ask. I wholeheartedly believe we can ask each other anything, but we're not required to respond. People closest to me know that I believe that questions are always okay. If I choose to not answer a question, that is okay. I will simply say, "I prefer not to answer that question." And there are never hard feelings in that moment.

Sometimes, when I feel led by God, I will hear a kid ask their parent and I'll turn to the kid and answer even if the parent hasn't had a chance to answer yet. I'll say, "This is how I was born. You can't catch it. The message from my brain to my leg is different than yours. I can do anything you can do, but if we ran a race you would win." That typically leads to a smile from the child and then we move on.

So if wishes were real and I could have one, it would be to have parents know it's okay to ask someone with a disability questions. Even if you're busy, a kind word rather than no word would make everyone feel less awkward in the moment.

No matter where you are, church (because even at church I'm given looks and parents don't know what to do), grocery shopping, or just out in the community, it's okay to ask. We're not to fear each other, we're to love each other. In a world of so much judgements and pain, being accepted and loved is our biggest desire and also our biggest fear when not received well.

My heart breaks a little when people say "What's WRONG with her?" Or when people say, "Can I pray for your leg?" While I understand the thinking behind it, I will go out on a limb and say nothing is wrong with me or anyone else with Cerebral Palsy. I am whole just as I am and so are the other people out there with a disability. Someone at work recently said, "Without CP you wouldn't be you." CP is part of me but not all of me. Just as your favorite food is part of you. Yes, it is that simple.

So for now I need to go get ready to hang out with one of my favorite third graders. He loves me just as I am, and that's all it takes to make me truly happy. I would venture to say that other people with a disability would say the same thing. We just want acceptance for being who we are, just like you.

*grin*
Life.
Is.
Good. ALWAYS.