Saturday, June 16, 2007

It's been a while....

So it's been over a year since I"ve posted, but I wanted to begin posting again. I don't know that anyone will read this, there's been nothing new for the past year, but it's summer again and I have the time to post, and well, I've missed this. So, here goes...we'll see where my ramblings land us today...

I have a friend, who has a wife that's sick. Really sick. And, up until I saw her a few weeks ago, I was good to go. I prayed for her all the time, but I didn't have a visual to go with her illness. So, when I saw her a few weeks ago, I was....well, taken aback, and it shook me. I don't like to see people I love sick. The thing is, she isn't sick like Chemo can help, she's sick as in she's dying and she's doing it to herself. And, the night I saw her, I felt death was inevitable and it scared the begeebers outta me. And there's nothing I can do.

I can pray. I pray all the time for her, but she's still dying. She's still self-destructing. And I'm not handling it well at all. And what I keep thinking is, "I don't want her to die."
For all I know, she wants to die. She sees the world as she chooses to see it, and maybe death is what she wants. I can't even imagine that logic. I can't imagine living life in such a way that alcohol, food, and your own thoughts destroy you.
I want to shake her. I want to tell her that life doesn't have to be like this. Life is good, if you choose to see the good in it. I know it takes more effort to see the good than the bad, but if you do it, life is enjoyable.
But I saw her face. She is in pain. Her face looks like my Grandmother's the day she died. She has aged years in the 6 months since I've seen her.
And noone is doing a thing.
I sent her a card.
I tried to talk to my friend about it, but it didn't do any good.
So I will pray...
And I will choose to see the good in life.
And will pray she will too...

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