Guilt

First off, I'm glad it's Friday. It seems to me that short weeks that have the Full Moon in them feel longer than regular five day workweeks. I'm looking forward to the weekend...sleeping in, watching a few movies...I need the break.

Which brings me to my thoughts for today. I have found that I now "work" even when I am sitting down watching a movie. Part of me wonders if I have caught ADHD from my students. :-) I know that's not really possible, but I find myself feeling guilty if I am just sitting and watching a movie. A VERY big portion of my job is paperwork, and it seems to me it's never completely caught up. Either I have corrections to make on IEP's I've already turned in, or I have to prepare for an upcoming IEP meeting or I have just had meetings (I ran 5 IEP meetings this week!) and have the follow-up paperwork to do.

And I go through phases.

Sometimes I'm okay with it. I mean, I'm single, and am not responsible for anyone else but me, so it's not like I have a family to take care of and juggle work. And honestly, when loneliness sets in, I somehow justify paperwork as "something to do" rather than dwell on my loneliness. I guess that's healthy in a sense...it certainly makes me more productive...

And sometimes I reach the end of the week (like today) and the idea of couch time and a sappy DVD flick sounds relaxing. With the exception of the two nights I had church commitments this week, I worked on paperwork until 9pm each night.

I don't mean to complain, I really don't. But I also don't like the guilt I feel when I sit and do nothing when I'm overloaded with paperwork.

Well, it's time for me to pack my bag and go tutor.

I'll keep ya posted on my ADHD status.

Later!