Sunday, June 14, 2015

Love/Hate Relationships

I sit in my home, two weeks out from my Term 1 experience, and still find myself pondering the week of events while I was at Camp Barnabas. I know, you probably read the title and are now confused. *grin* Trust me, if you hang in here with me through this story, you'll see the positive side in this love/hate story. *grin*

To tell the complete story, we need to go back two summers ago, when I served during Term 1. At least, I believe it was Term 1. I was having a toe issue, and was in major pain. Due to poor planning on my part, I didn't get a cortisone shot prior to going to camp. After our first full day, I believe, I went in to the health building and asked if I could have a shot. They did the debate, and in all fairness, they don't know me and had a valid case for not giving it to me. Tears fell but it wasn't because I didn't get the shot. While it is true, I was in a ton of pain or else I wouldn't have asked for the shot. However, the tears fell but the person I had talked to about the shot was less-than-kind to me. I was shocked, as that was my first Barnabas experience with a less-than-ideal person assisting me at Camp. Usually, everyone is AMAZING out there. Even in the responses of "no" to the campers who want meds for everything, they are gentle in how they deliver it. That's the norm. *grin* This one person was not as nice to me, and I didn't understand why because I was nice in how I asked and even told her I would understand if they weren't comfortable giving me the shot. Truthfully, I tear up when someone doesn't treat me nicely or I'm frustrated because someone else I love is being hurt. Otherwise, my Rudolph look doesn't surface. So, back to that night, I left the Wellhouse with tears, but I was okay.

I had another incident with that Wellhouse Volunteer a day or two later, when I was wanting a camper to be allowed to rest in a room in the Wellhouse, because we can't stay in a cabin alone with a camper. After the Wellhouse Volunteer denied that, we went back to the cabin. (They were there for devos) The staff I had at that time talked about it, and they went back with us to the Wellhouse, and kindly asked for it, and it worked. This was AFTER the Wellhouse Volunteer saw me, took one look at me and said, "What are you doing back here?" I still didn't this day, I don't understand why she was like that with me. However, I learned a long time ago not to let one person ruin my experience out there. *grin*

I prayed over the person, realizing that I had not done anything wrong and I was probably in the wrong place at the wrong time. At the same time, it didn't mean I had to necessarily like the person.

Last Summer I went out to serve, and that person was there. We simply stayed clear of each other, and we weren't assigned to cabins that had us work together, so we served out at camp in our own little corners. I prayed for her over the past couple years, from time to time, but seriously didn't "like" her.

This Summer during Term 1, that person was assigned to my cabin, and I took a deep breath and silently prayed. I knew I could be polite and make it work, I just wasn't looking forward to it. However, God had other ideas. *grin*

Through the course of the week, we got to know each other. She is a little rough around the edges, but she did really well with our cabin, and I was pleased to see the compassionate side of her. Even after Sleeping Beauty had her seizure, she wasn't going to let us say, "Good-bye" to her, but then she did. I hadn't said a word to her when she initially said no, I just sat there. It was a defining moment for me during that week with that person, and I can't even explain why. All I know is that I wanted to say good-bye to the camper. *grin*

Now, I'm not going to sit here and say we sang mushy songs and became best friends. That isn't what happened, or even the point of the story.

My point is that I learned a lot from the Lord during that week about love/hate relationships. While I didn't "hate" her (Hops taught me not to hate), I just didn't like her. At the same time, when that person's face came up on my "people you might know" on FB, I would pray for her. Nothing long or deep, but I did pray blessings upon her because I didn't know what battles she was facing. I never expected the friendship that has started with her since Term 1. Nah, we don't live near each other or anything, but we both love Barnabas and will serve side by side for years to come. *grin* And yeah, we're FB friends.

The Lord knows me well enough to know that The Beech Road Experience changed me in ways I don't like, and He is clearly walking with me through this season to show me that not all relationships that are hard need to end. Some just need time and prayer cultivated into it.

So, perhaps you're in a weird place like I was with her with someone in your life. Pray for that person. No, that doesn't mean you're praying for you to be Best Friends. It simply means you care enough about them in the Lord to bless them in all they do. Even if you never see them again.

Believe it or not, I pray short prayers from time to time for those I shared the Beech Road Experience with for 5+ years. I don't expect squat. I just want God to bless them. *grin* And, I refuse the let that one experience ruin other future relationships He has for me. The enemy will not get that from me. *grin*

AWESOME...with God answering prayers, step by step....

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